I was recently called a misandrist for the first time in my life. Why? Because I told a man that men needed to โbehave betterโ. He screamed โnot all men!โ At me and then demanded I show more deference and acknowledgement that there are โgood guys out thereโ.
This was someone I considered a friend - so I tried to explain that of course there are good guys - but we donโt know who they are. We have to approach EVERY man with caution because of the constant threat of rape and abuse.
I explained thatโs why we say men have privilege - because they donโt have to move through life with that constant threat. They donโt have to be on guard ALL the time. They arenโt judged by what they wear, how many kids they have, how much they drink or how late they were out at night.
He proceeded to school me that he in fact experienced No benefit from being a man. He genuinely could not comprehend that I wasnโt saying he didnโt work hard or earn whatever he had - just that it would have been HARDER had he been a woman or marginalized in another way.
Nope. I was told I hate men and that we could no longer be friends.
guys - please donโt do this. I kept my cool and tried to gently explain where I was coming from only to get berated and repeatedly told that if I didnโt do exactly as he wanted - the friendship would be cut off.
This dude proved my point and couldnโt even see it.
We KNOW itโs not all men - but itโs too many men. And we DONโT know who the safe ones are.
Iโm debating writing an article about this - especially considering disabled women are far more likely to experience abuse. Iโm just not sure it โfitsโ with Disabled Ginger. Though reproductive health is certainly something I will be diving in to.
Thoughts? Is it too far removed from my normal topics?